Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Record Covers of Distinction (or is that Extiction?)

An Addendum to the last post... not only was there a scarcity of cover art 
but there are or were so many other types of artlessness as well. 
 Here is an example of album cover awfulness that must be seen together to fully absorb.
I am assuming "Faith" is the one in white.
One just knows the fellow on the right gets his kicks from removing the wings of insects.
The other two gents might be mannequins.
But then again, mannequins are seldom in need of serious orthodontia.
No doubt this type of early American style furniture will once again be all the rage so check your local dumpster or thrift shop and stock up now! Don/t forget the fake little toy spinning wheel.
It's an important detail.
They are apparently stunned from having just heard their own album for the first time 
and the Holy Pizza  guy just arrived with their Cheeses Saves special!

But then again, they may have just seen the rare second combing of Bigfoot!

Their Bible seems to be open to Hardwood 4: 5, 'May your faith rest as on maple,
and your coverings depict the New World.'
At first I was inclined to give credit where it is due and salute this group's math skills however their other release reveals some math "Home Skoolin'" problems.

Click on the photo for a larger image!
Whoa...so it seems they added another manikin.
 They became a quartet, and they were doing so well with the maths on that last album.
 Yes, it seems the Faith Four have joined the ranks of Christian groups who can not count...
I am not disappointed!  
It seems they stumbled over a fifth of bourbon
 and figured it was 6 shots of one and something of the other
--and for this foursome that's math enough!
There are still the orthodontia issues,
 and the fellow on the right has graduated from pricking the wings off insects
 to dissecting neighborhood pets. 
The song "So it's Different Now" was obviously about Faith's sex change operation.
  You might say the Faith Four were "members only" now.
 I'm sorry, but such intrepid dorkdom simply was not ever taken seriously,
 not in any era or place in this universe.
 As for the songs, ""Do You Know + He Touched Me + That's Enough"...well I guess that was about the local parish priest.  "Stepping in the Light" was about stepping in something, but it wasn't light in truth.
The full title of the album was intended to be
 "Born to serve the Lord, on a stick, at the county fair, in hell." 
But alas, they didn't know anyone who could spell that many words for them.

Filed under Christian groups who can not count from hell
Click if you dare view a larger image!

Posted by Staff Musicologist
Dr. Wayne Kerr
(He wears those rubber gloves because his palms are hairy)

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