Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Vote For RFE and Tehranchik

On August 25th the official announcement was made
that Radio Free Europa and Tehranchik
would seek the office of the Presidency

(see the video)
to the overwhelming joy of the many
and the solemn remorse of the few.
The campaign is well underway and we are confident
that votes for other candidates
will be tossed in the dumpster
only to wash up on New Jersey beaches
in the near future along with hospital waste,
leaking drums of radioactive waste leftover from the Manhattan Project,
the entire cargo hold from the Exxon Valdez 2,
and some assorted mobsters.
(Bayonne N.J.- Where the Mobsters meet the Lobsters!
Fashionable cement boots-one size fits all!)

Vote Early and Vote Often!
We've come to rescue our constitution!

"We The People"
The very idea of hearing this phrase again echoing
through the halls of this nation's Capitol
brings a sigh of relief.
Yet have the candidates heard the voice of the people?
If they did will they heed the will of the people?
This is modern democracy inaction!!!
Democracy Inaction

We witness the bold spectacle
of marketing ploys and particularly anti-marketing ploys
which stoop lower each election cycle.
The "brand" that reaches it's loyal consumer
with a message of fear, generic hatred,
outrageous denigration and general odium prevails.

The Election Koolaid Flaccid Mess

Drink up suckers!
In the end, the operatives behind the candidates give voters the option of choosing either Simon Bar Sinister or Snidely Whiplash.

Candidates are often nothing more than manipulated shells on strings being pulled by soulless shadow dwellers who seek power for the sake of power itself, or simple greed.
These "candidates" are simply the containers in which
the puppeteers hide their contraband agenda.

We live in a world most would have deemed too surreal
only a short time ago. Who would have imagined, for instance;
that we would have ever been discussing the merits of torture
in the USA only a few years ago?
That we could have invaded a country that did us no harm
under false pretenses and continue to pretend this was a just cause
long after the lies were exposed?
That a major national political party would become opposed to science?
That a president would be able to usurp powers
specifically denied in the constitution without challenge?
That candidates for national office seek to rewrite our constitution
placing their religious views in it?

Science, the earth itself, reason, individual freedom,
all under attack by the "war" party.

John McCain was thoroughly slimed in 2000 by his own party,
so much so,
that the "base" of his own chosen political party still rejects him.
(His VP pick demonstrates this.)
The battle cry is:
Tell the lie often enough
make the lie big enough
and people will succumb.
This is not merely observation,
Karl Rove and his proteges have bragged about this.

The United States was designed by geniuses
but run by morons.
But it isn't really their fault, rather it is the citizens themselves
who condone or worse, cooperate
I just emptied the deleted messages folder
of my e mail program.
In the last 30 days,
I received 138 fraudulent messages
claiming Senator Obama is everything
in the universe that a human being might possibly be offended by.
No stone un-thrown here.
And the stones have been coming since before
he had even announced his candidacy.
Apparently he is a Satanist murderer terrorist from Mars
who supplied Michael Vick with puppies and has been
hiding in your dryer stealing socks in an effort to
confound you as to where the "match" went.
According to the anonymous e mail
both Obama and his deceased mother break into your house
and short sheet your bed when your not home.

Absurd? Yes!
Despicable? You bet.
The major candidates
are so thoroughly slimed and smeared
they are no longer viable.
RFE and Tehranchik in contrast,
are not Martians, puppy killers, sock thieves, etc.
Nor have they ever short sheeted your bed.
In short, they believe in investing in renewable energy sources
but they are not covered with them.
So vote for them.
They are the least slimed.

Vote Now!

free pollsWho will be the next President Of The United States Of America?
Obama and Biden
McCain and Palin
Radio Free Europa and Tehranchik
Bob Barr
Sponge Bob Squarepants

ras online casino

Democracy Inaction-
The will of some of the people some of the time prevails!
Not persuaded yet?
Read on.

Foreign Policy

And at 3 A.M. when that important phone call comes.
(That's right, the really important ones are always at 3 a.m.
though 9 out of 10 are drunks calling wrong numbers. And it seems like the POTUS
ought to have someone on staff who answered phone calls...)

McCain will not even hear it, and he needs his sleep.
Palin will be too busy shooting Polar Bears down at the National Zoo.
RFE will still be up and alert, (but don't call in the morning).
Tehranchik will be awake and alert, ready to answer a phone
on day one....

Bush has yet to figure out how to actually answer the phone
(why are all the phones in the White House the old rotary kind anyway?)

Yes, America is under attack...but from whom?
Both Tehranchik and RFE will fight the real enemies of the U.S.
These include agents of Fascism (wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross,
just as Sinclair Lewis predicted).
The occupied media.
Corporatist greed.
And Neocon imperialism.

Republicans respond
The McCain campaign, reacting to the surge of Tehranchik and RFE in the polls,
retaliated with an ad campaign accusing them of putting the needs of American citizens
ahead of the greed of multinational corporations.
McCain further said, regarding homeland security:
" We promise to execute any kids who step on our lawns."

"I'm surprised"
Jack Cafferty was surprised
when viewers overwhelmingly voted for
RFE and Tehranchik
in a poll on CNN.
30% of respondents voted for Obama
18% for McCain
35% for Radio Free Europa and Tehranchik
15 % voted for Spongebob Squarepants
2% poked their eyeballs out while trying to operate a pencil.
(the margin of error is + or - 100%).

Perennial Windbag and occasional candidate Pat Buchanan
says even he will vote for RFE and Tehranchik.

"I'm throwin' in the towel on this one!"
Buchanan said while covering the Republican Convention.
"Obama filled a stadium with 87,000 people,
with people lining the streets for 3 blocks in all directions.
But I couldn't even get a wino to come listen
to Fred Thompson for a bottle of Thunderbird!"
"I'm Votin' fer Tehranchik and RFE."

McCain is always ready to give the "terrorist bump"
(note the right hand ) to the real terrorists.
The oil companies, the lobbyists, Haliburton, Cheney, Media shills,
war profiteers, and banking scammers.
"Damn, I had to go buy a bigger flag pin cuz these 2 have even bigger ones!
Can I write it off? "I still was a POW you know".
Even I will Vote for Tehranchik and RFE.
They do have the biggest flag pins, and
I really don't want the far right wingnuts
running this joint...ever see the Manchurian Candidate?
Cheney and Rove have been waterboarding me
since 2000. The implants they stuck in my head make me do their bidding.
But the one place their transmissions don't reach is a voting booth.
I'll be free to vote for real candidates.
Don't Vote For Me! (ouch!).

Armies everywhere are putting down their guns and picking up guitars
in anticipation of a new era of peace as RFE and Tehranchik
rise in polls.
"All we are saying.........."

Breaking News!
Homeland Scrutiny method of determining
the "terror level alert" revealed!

Buffoon extraordinaire Bill O Rielly wieghs in.
Tears Of A Clown

O Rielly knows that Murdoch's days as a monopolistic media hack
would be numbered and few if the popular candidates are elected.

RFE and Tehranchik will apply antitrust type laws to media.
Corporate lackeys will be kicked out of the FCC and it will be restaffed
with people who recognize they are licensing public airwaves not
giving propagandists a free ride.
Murdoch and Clear Channel
are out of here.
Only 1 media outlet will be permitted to be owned in a given market
by the same person or entity.
This was the Law before Murdoch bribed, er uh, lobbied
Newt Gingrich to get them changed just for him.

The anti trust laws must be brought back into play.

Get your RFE & Tehranchik campaign gear here:











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